When He Pulls Away: Attract Him Back With Confidence
- Yaw Amoateng
- Apr 24
- 6 min read
Updated: Jul 8
What is in this article?
As a man, I can tell you for a fact that men respond to how a woman holds her energy in these moments. I know how confusing it feels when the man you’ve been connecting with suddenly goes quiet. Maybe you felt things building beautifully, the late-night chats, the sweet good mornings, the sparks that made you feel truly seen and special.
And then, almost out of nowhere, he starts to feel distant. The texts slow down, his warmth fades, and you’re left wondering if you did something wrong, questioning every detail. Men respond to how a woman holds her energy in these moments. If you shift into anxiety and chase, they start to take you for granted.
They might see your constant availability and reassurance as a sign that they don’t need to invest or try as hard anymore. On the other hand, if you stay grounded, keep focusing on your life, and show that you’re not dependent on his constant attention, that energy naturally commands respect and often pulls him back closer, not because you’re playing games, but because he feels your self-worth.
I’ve seen this happen from both sides, as a man who has pulled away and as someone who has helped women navigate this confusing dance. The truth is, your response to his distance can either bring him back naturally or make him disappear for good.
Why He Might Have Pulled Away
He’s Feeling Overwhelmed or Stressed: Men often shut down emotionally when overwhelmed. This can stem from work, personal issues, or the pressure of the relationship itself. Instead of talking about it, they instinctively retreat.
He Needs Space to Process Emotions: Unlike women who may express emotions openly, many men deal with internal struggles silently. Pulling away gives them time to think, regroup, and process what's going on without external pressure.
Fear of Vulnerability or Intimacy: Getting emotionally close may trigger fears of losing independence, getting hurt, or not being good enough. If a man hasn't developed emotional maturity, he may instinctively distance himself.
He Doesn’t Know What He Wants: Indecisiveness or lack of clarity about the relationship’s future can cause men to pull back while they try to figure things out. This often happens when the relationship starts getting serious.
He’s Dealing with Personal Turmoil or Purpose Crisis: If a man feels lost in his career, life direction, or sense of purpose, it can affect his capacity to stay engaged in a relationship. Some disconnect to refocus on regaining control over their lives.
He Perceives Neediness or Pressure: Even subtle expressions of neediness or emotional pressure can trigger a man to pull away, especially if he interprets them as demands or expectations he’s not ready to fulfil.
He’s Afraid He’s Not "Winning" in the Relationship: Men often want to feel successful in relationships. If he feels like he’s failing to make you happy or can't "fix" things, he may withdraw to protect his ego.
The Relationship Progressed Too Quickly: If things moved fast emotionally or physically, it can trigger a “pull-back” as he tries to reset the pace or evaluate his feelings more realistically.
How to Use the Law of Attraction to Shift the Energy When He Pulls Away
When a guy pulls away, your first instinct might be to chase him, confront him, or overthink every little detail. But here’s the truth: doing any of those things repels him even more. Instead, if you want to draw him back in without looking desperate, you need to shift your energy inward and this is where the Law of Attraction comes in.
1. Detach Emotionally (But Not Coldly)
Men often withdraw to escape overwhelming emotions or pressure. Trying to fix things in that moment only adds to the resistance. Instead, release control. Stop checking your phone every minute or rehearsing what you’ll say next. Practice emotional detachment—not to punish him, but to centre yourself again.
“A mature woman doesn’t complain or blame when she doesn’t get what she wants. She finds a calm and grounded way to express her needs—or steps back to regain her peace.”
2. Focus on Your Vibration
The Law of Attraction teaches that like attracts like. If you’re obsessing over rejection, you’ll emit lack and fear. Instead, fill your space with calm, joy, and self-worth. Do things that light you up, go out with friends, pursue your passions, take care of yourself.
“Your external world is a reflection of your internal world. To attract love and calm, you must first be love and calm.”
3. Let Him Miss Your Energy
When you pull back in a healthy way, you give him the space to feel your absence and your value. If he’s the right one, he’ll notice the shift and be drawn back not because you chased him, but because your energy became magnetic.
“Give men the needed space (freedom) to see how great you are, and they will realize it.”
4. Affirm Your Worth
Use affirmations like:
“I am worthy of love that feels safe and mutual.”
“I attract emotionally available partners.”
“I don’t chase. I attract.”
This keeps your energy high and focused on what you do want, not what you fear losing.
How to Respond with Confidence when he comes back
Keep your peace. Protect your power.
When someone pulls away and then comes back, it’s easy to feel caught between curiosity and caution. But instead of overthinking or reacting from emotion, the most powerful thing you can do is stay grounded in yourself.
The way you respond should reflect your growth, not your history. Let your energy say, “I’m good, whether you stay or not.”
Here’s how to respond with calm confidence and natural ease:
1. Start Simple and Neutral
No need for overexcitement or coldness. Just be clear, chill, and open but on your terms.
“Hey, it’s nice to hear from you. What made you reach out?”
This keeps things neutral and gives you the power, while showing you're not blindly jumping back in.
2. Guide the Direction of the Conversation
Once the door is open, gently shift the focus to intention. Make it feel like a real check-in, not just casual small talk.
“I wasn’t expecting to hear from you. I’m curious—what’s on your mind?”
This shows maturity and invites clarity, not confusion.
3. Let Your Growth Show Naturally
You don’t need to list your wins or say how well you’ve been doing. Let it come through in your calm, grounded energy. But if you do want to share something:
“Things have been good. I’ve just been focused on myself”
That’s all you need. Confident, light, and no pressure.
4. Keep It Real About What You Want
If the conversation seems like it’s heading toward rekindling things, be honest but relaxed.
“If we’re opening this door again, I’d want us to be intentional about it. I’m not into guessing games.”
This isn’t demanding. It’s self-respect in action.
5. Don’t Rush. Take Your Time
If you’re not sure how you feel yet, you don’t need to decide right away.
“I’ll need a little time to think about this. I’ve changed a lot, and I want to be sure I’m not stepping into something that doesn’t feel right.”
This gives you breathing room and shows you’re approaching things with care.
6. Keep Your Energy Light, But Honest
You don’t have to be overly serious or overly playful. Just be you. If you're not feeling it, it's okay to say:
“I’m not sure we’re on the same page anymore. I’m in a different space now, and I’m not looking to go backward.”
That’s respectful. Honest. And strong.
7. Keep the Focus on You, Not Him
This isn’t about whether he’s changed. It’s about whether the version of you now is willing to re-open that connection.
Ask yourself:
Does this feel peaceful?
Do I feel seen, heard, and valued?
Am I responding from my worth, not my wounds?
If the answer is no, you don’t have to respond at all.
Final Thought
Sometimes they come back to see if they still have access. Your job isn’t to prove anything, it's to protect what you’ve built within yourself. Respond only if it feels aligned. And if it doesn’t? Keep it moving, with love and clarity.
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