Highlights
Being single for a long time can have an effect on you. Single life is not always a walk in the park, it can be lonely at times but it may come with its benefits. It can be a unique and transformative journey, one filled with self-discovery, personal growth, and the opportunity to build a fulfilling life on your terms. It's a chapter of life that offers freedom, independence, and a chance to explore your passions and interests.
The painful truth is that being single is not always a choice; when that is the case, it can be very lonely and sad.
Being single for an extended period can have profound psychological effects on an individual's well-being and outlook on life. In this article, we will delve into the various ways long-term single life can shape one's emotions, mindset, and overall mental health.
Psychological effects of being single for too long
It might surprise you to learn that most people who remain single for a long period can develop health problems that eventually have an impact on their love lives but people who did the right thing during their single life grew as an individual and maintained healthy mental health.
While some individuals may embrace and love being single, others may encounter difficulties or emotions that have a terrible psychological impact on their mental health. This could include having a profound sense of loneliness, having low self-esteem, being depressed, feeling isolated, having trouble maintaining or creating connections, etc. However, when managed correctly, it may lead to improved self-esteem, self-discovery, independence, personal growth, emotional maturity, increased self-care, etc.
There is nothing wrong with being single, it doesn’t matter if you have been single your entire life. What matters is how you handle it, and who you become in the process. If you’ve been single for so long but in that period of your life, you allow yourself to grow mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally you grow as a person.
If instead of allowing yourself to grow, you stay bitter and frustrated, thinking you are single because you don’t deserve love or you are not beautiful or handsome enough, you allow these negative thoughts to fester destroying your self-image in the long run.
A great void will be created and an empty feeling will generate loneliness and depression and you may end up filling it up with an addiction. You have no room left for someone to come into your life and show you love since you have harboured all these negative thoughts about yourself.
Instead of letting it get to you, build a better relationship with yourself and in the process, you end up maintaining your individuality and becoming a better version of yourself. It becomes easy to connect with any other person who walks into your life when you do that.
How to be more comfortable with being single
We have all experienced the feeling of loneliness when we find ourselves single, It can be depressing. However, being in a relationship does not add value to you, no one is inadequate just because they are not in a relationship. You need to realize that you don’t need another person to make you feel complete; know your worth.
How can you expect someone else to enjoy their time with you if you don't love being with yourself? The goal of being in a relationship is to demonstrate love, and care, and share your life with someone special, not to achieve fulfilment. Embrace yourself, discover your calling, and savour each moment as it arises. Here are a couple of things you can do while you are single to be more comfortable with yourself
Learn to love spending time with yourself and have some me time
Take a break from the dishonesty, deception, manipulation, and everything negative that some relationships carry and relax, watch a movie on your own, play some games, read a book, get a massage, go site seeing just do something you love on your own and enjoy life and embrace yourself wholeheartedly. Discover ways to create happiness within yourself.
Heal from your past
Before you can be comfortable with being single, you will have to heal from your past because these past things may carry emotional stress, and trauma which will make being single tough for you. The healing will take time but you will have to go through the process.
It is advisable to seek professional help to be able to identify what you need to heal from and develop as a person. Healing will take time and focus but it is essential to go through it if you wish to start enjoying your single life and develop as a person.
Surround yourself with friends and family
It is also important that in this period you surround yourself with friends and family especially when you just ended a relationship. When you surround yourself with friends, they help take your mind off the breakup, help suppress the feeling of loneliness, they will push you to be the best version of yourself and also encourage you to move on. Surrounding yourself with friends and family will give you the healing and strength and confidence you need to be able to continue living a happy life even if it has to be a single life.
Take that time to focus on your goals
Focusing on your goals will help take your mind off loneliness, especially if you are feeling anxious and frustrated by it. Take that time and focus on your career, learn new things, and find out who you want to be in the future.
In doing this, you eventually become satisfied with being single and you know yourself more. When we are not in a relationship, we get time to get clear about what matters to us and what we value so why not take advantage of that and know what matters to you?
Start a blog
Writing down how you feel is a great weapon. When you are feeling depressed and lonely about being single, you can start a blog and write how you feel and how you are dealing with it, and in the process, you will learn to heal from it and be more comfortable with being single and also help other people going through the same situation.
As you continue to write how you feel, you will learn from it in the process. Because as you write, you research what other people have written about being single and how they handled it. You will learn to be comfortable with yourself and help others in the process.
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Overcoming the loneliness that comes with being single
We all want to feel loved and accepted, it is our human nature and we get the connection and companionship that we most desire from our relationships. When we have been in a relationship for so long and it ends or when you have been single for a while you tend to feel lonely and isolated.
It is hard to get used to doing things alone after being in a relationship. Even though it can be hard, There are plenty of single people out there that have no intention of dating, simply because they love being single. How do you overcome the feeling of loneliness when you are single?
Loneliness is an emotion we feel when we are not acknowledged by others. You can even feel lonely in a relationship when it is not fulfilling. Loneliness comes from the endless unsatisfied desires in our minds.
Loneliness is about the state of mind and the first step to suppressing loneliness is
Acceptance
Remove all desires and accept that you are single. You should refrain from imposing yourself on others and actively seeking a romantic partner. While it is perfectly OK to surround yourself with friends, you must also learn to accept and love yourself.
You should keep a still mind and allow yourself to grow, by learning to love your single life before jumping into another relationship. Getting rid of loneliness is not just about getting a new hobby or finding new friends, it is about accepting yourself, discovering yourself in a new way, and allowing the parts of yourself that need healing to heal.
It becomes difficult to live a single life when we are always looking for relationships and looking for validation from people or to feel important. When we do that, we always get distracted or constantly get occupied with other people which does not leave space for ourselves. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship, it just needs to be for the right reasons.
But you'll also need to hang out with friends who make your life better. And to get through this process, you'll need people in your life to inspire you to keep searching for who you are. You need to develop a liking for spending time by yourself when you are alone yourself.
Is being single better than being in a relationship?
Relationships are just great when you are with the right person. When you find that special someone and spend all your time with them, when it just feels right, it is an amazing feeling. It can also be hell when the person you find yourself with always gets on your nerves, and there is a constant argument, lies, deceit, cheating, and confusion. It drains your life away and can be very depressing.
Then again single life can be an amazing thing, you don't have to answer to anybody, you can go anywhere you want, do anything you want, meet new people, be alone in your home relaxed without being bordered, and not worry about planning dates, getting the wrong birthday gift or valentines day gift. Generally the freedom can be amazing. It can also be very lonely, especially on days like Valentine's when everyone around you is in a relationship and you just have no one to hangout with, and can also be very depressing.
They both have their pros and cons, when you find yourself in an amazing relationship then good for you, keep it going and if you are single don't rush into a relationship work on yourself and wait for the right person to come into your life. Relationships can be amazing when with the right person and single life can also be glorious when you live it the right way. There is none better than the other. Just learn to make it work when you find yourself in either situation.
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