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Yaw Amoateng

How does one get over a toxic relationship? Advice from Psychologists


A young woman crying after a breakup

Imagine falling in love or deeply caring for someone, only to watch their narcissistic behaviour or abusive tendencies gradually come to light. Despite the pain, you hold on, convincing yourself it’s just a phase and that things will get better. You endure the emotional turmoil, clinging to the fragments of love you feel, until one day, you finally see the damage it’s causing and find the strength to walk away.


Leaving a toxic relationship is no small feat. The raw pain, haunting memories, and unresolved emotions can weigh you down, much like an untreated wound that refuses to heal. The scars left behind, both emotional and mental, can linger, leaving you feeling broken and unsure of the path ahead.


Healing from such a relationship is about piecing yourself back together, shedding the layers of pain, and rediscovering who you were before that relationship. In this article, we’ll explore the steps to help you move forward and reclaim your life, one step at a time.



How To Heal From A Toxic Relationship?

A girl living in the shadow of her toxic ex boyfriend

The path of healing changes as it goes from the first tentative steps of noticing trauma to the more sure steps of coping and rebuilding. No longer is it just about healing from the hurts of the past; it is also about building a future with a stronger sense of self-worth, identity, and relationships that are healthier and more satisfying.


To truly move forward, you need to recognize and understand your past. Embracing a fresh start requires you to clearly see what went wrong and comprehend the extensive impact of that toxic relationship.


1. ACKNOWLEDGE THE PAIN


Acknowledging that you are in pain and that you are hurting is the first step to healing. When you stop avoiding your pain and choose to face it, you discover a profound inner strength you didn’t know you had. Acknowledging the deepest hurts, betrayals, and emotions that surface after a toxic relationship can be transformative.


It’s natural to want to escape the pain, but true healing begins with accepting it for what it is and understanding how it has shaped you. Give yourself permission to grieve, feel anger, reflect, and seek closure. By embracing these emotions rather than suppressing them, you create a path forward, one that leads to clarity, resilience, and eventual peace.


2. UNDERSTAND THE WOUNDS


Once you have acknowledged the pain, the next step toward healing is to allow yourself to truly see the impact the relationship had on you by understanding the wounds. These emotional scars, like self-doubt or feelings of unworthiness, don’t just go away, they linger and shape how you think, feel, and act.


By acknowledging their existence and exploring where they came from, you can begin to separate what was done to you from who you are. This clarity helps you to stop blaming yourself and start addressing the pain with compassion. When you understand your wounds, you can also recognize how they influence your current emotions and behaviours, making it easier to stop harmful patterns before they take over.


3. FIND YOUR COPING AND HEALING TOOLS

A young lady journaling

Dealing with the effects of a bad relationship can feel like being lost in a rough sea. One moment, you’re hit by waves of anger and bitterness, and the next, guilt and sadness wash over you. These emotions come and go without warning, leaving you feeling unsteady and searching for something solid to hold on to. This is why the next thing is to find a coping mechanism like


  • Grounding exercises

  • Journaling

  • Meditation

  • Hobbies

  • Finding support networks


Any of these will help you. The most amazing thing about the support groups is not just the comfort they give, but also the new perspectives they give. You can see examples of your own strength and the possibility of getting better in other people. They strengthen the belief that healing is not only possible, but also inevitable with time, persistence, and the power of the group as a whole.


4. THERAPY AND COUNSELING AS SOURCES OF SUPPORT

A man having a therapy section

According to research, in the past and sometimes even today, seeking help from therapists or counselors has been unfairly stigmatized. Many people viewed it as a sign of weakness, believing that personal struggles should be dealt with alone. However, choosing therapy is actually a brave and empowering step toward recovery.


Therapists and counselors are there to support you in many ways by listening, guiding, and offering personalized strategies to help you heal. With their extensive training and experience, they can provide practical tools tailored to your specific needs, making the journey to emotional well-being more manageable and effective.


How Therapists help you deal with pains from narcistic relationships


Therapy programs designed for survivors of narcissistic relationships address these deeper wounds, helping you uncover and understand the patterns of manipulation you experienced. This process fosters self-awareness, guiding you to distinguish genuine love from manipulation and gradually rebuild your sense of self-worth and confidence.


Leaving a narcissistic relationship means redefining your boundaries. With the guidance of a professional, you can learn to establish firm, clear limits that protect you from being manipulated again. It’s a transformative process.


Relying on sources of support and strength can make the overwhelming journey of healing more manageable. Each moment of self-reflection, every therapy session, and every effort to understand yourself acts as a stepping stone, gradually making the path ahead clearer and less intimidating.


5. NURTURING YOURSELF

A man exercising

After experiencing such a difficult time, it’s natural to seek validation from others or keep yourself busy. However, true healing often begins by turning inward. In these pivotal moments, self-care becomes an essential step in your recovery journey.


You need to;


Engage in physical activities: Physical exercise not only is a necessary habit but also an important way to continue to heal. Physical exercise is a powerful tool for healing, as it releases endorphins, natural chemicals that reduce stress and boost happiness. Beyond the physical benefits, regular exercise strengthens your spirit, teaching discipline, commitment, and resilience. Each completed workout becomes a small victory, symbolizing progress in rebuilding self-worth and emotional strength, making you better equipped to face life’s challenges.


Practice mindfulness: After enduring a toxic relationship, your mind can feel scattered, and trusting future relationships may seem daunting. At such times, mindfulness becomes a crucial tool for finding stability. It acts as a calm refuge amidst the storm of overwhelming emotions, helping you handle the chaos and find a sense of inner peace and self-awareness.


Practicing mindfulness can include activities like deep breathing exercises, where you focus on the rhythm of your breath to ground yourself in the present moment. Meditation, even for a few minutes daily, can help calm racing thoughts and bring clarity. Journaling your emotions is another way to process feelings, offering insight into your inner world.


Engaging in mindful walks in nature, where you pay attention to the sights, sounds, and sensations around you, can also provide solace. These practices help you reconnect with yourself, build emotional resilience, and regain a sense of control over your thoughts and feelings.


6. SET BOUNDARIES


Setting boundaries isn’t just about defining what you will or won’t tolerate, it’s also a reflection of your self-worth and independence. It’s less about shutting others out and more about protecting your inner well-being, ensuring that your healing process is safeguarded. By valuing your time, space, and energy, you’re practicing self-respect and prioritizing your personal growth.



Take these practices seriously, as they are key to rediscovering yourself and beginning the healing process. Healing takes time, it won’t happen overnight, but with patience and persistence, it will come. Don’t suppress the pain or bury it deep inside; instead, confront it with courage. Allow yourself to feel, to grieve, and to release. Embrace the pain, shed the tears if needed, and work through it head-on. This is how true recovery begins.



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