Heartbreak | The Pain, Hurt, And Loss

I recall a time when everything made perfect sense. Everything was preplanned, and I could see into the future. I often envisioned myself happy and achieving goals in my daydreams, and nothing could stop me from doing so. I inhabited a very distant future and occasionally lost all sense of reality. I always believed that things would work out well for me and never thought of being subjected to loss and heartbreak. Is there such a thing as someone with way too much ambition? Because if there is, I was literally that person.

Sometimes nothing, including the pain, hurt, and loss, makes sense. You take time to learn about someone from scratch; you actually learn everything there is to know about them. Together, you build something and after years of hard work, everything gets disrupted in just seconds and it’s like nothing happened between you two. After getting so attached to them; communication seizes, you don’t see them anymore, and you both become complete strangers after they have become a huge part of your life. A great void, a feeling of emptiness is filled within you and you ask yourself one question.

“Will I ever be able to start all over with someone else?”

You begin to wonder if you will ever meet someone and connect with them as deeply as you did before.

How will you fill this void within you?

How can you be happy when you don’t have the one person that made you happy every time?

It is crazy how we can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely. Do we feel this way because we don’t let them in or is there something generally missing within us?

It begins to feel like a huge cloud of darkness has formed around your head and it keeps growing and growing, day by day. It clouds your thoughts, judgments, and actions, and every time you remember the pain and rejection, fear develops within you and it gets worse.

At some point, you manage to focus on something else. You get a clear conscience and it feels like progress. You feel lighter and things begin to get clearer but the slightest setback and the cloud forms around your head again. You get deeper and deeper in your thoughts because, at that point, it feels like there is no recovering from this and you almost let the depression and pain take over. It is hard, you gave it everything yet everything failed.

You look around you, trying to make sense of what is happening in your life. We try to know what is going on within by looking at things from the outside.

It is difficult when everything that we had become accustomed to gets disrupted and we have to move forward without any certainties and any guarantees. We get blinded by emotions and we forget what our ambitions and objectives are.

If you take another step you have to take it by faith because the manner has seized but the movement must continue. What do we do when we have got to keep moving but the manner had seized?

There will always be a huge shift in our lives and it will confuse us, it will feel like the end of the road, but we still have to keep the movement going. There is more road ahead of us, we should set our minds straight and get rid of the illusion that there is nothing ahead. Although the new journey hasn't yet begun, prep yourself. To quote Hal Borland “No winter lasts forever, no spring skips its turn” It pains to let go but sometimes it is for the greater good. It is okay to be confused when nothing makes sense in your life and when it feels like your luck has run out. The most important thing is how you get back up. You simply need to have faith. Believe and keep moving, even when it hurts, and let time do its magic.