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Yaw Amoateng

10 Trust-building Exercises Every Couple Must Try

Updated: May 23


10 Trust building exercise for couples

Whether you are working to build trust with someone new, maintain trust in your relationship or recover trust after it has been broken, an investment in trust is one of the best investments you can make in any relationship. Your relationship, no matter how strong it is, will endure countless obstacles, making nurturing and establishing trust even more important.


Trust-building exercises are actions or practices that are aimed to improve and strengthen trust in a relationship. They can be especially helpful in situations when trust has been broken.


These activities not only aid in the restoration of trust after a breach, but also function as proactive actions to strengthen the bond, develop transparency, and create an environment in which both partners feel secure, understood, and respected.



Why is building trust important?


The primary cause of relationship breakdowns often stems from a lack of trust. Trust is the bedrock of any successful relationship, as it underpins the confidence that your partner will cherish and support you unconditionally. Having someone you can rely on, confide in, and feel secure with is the essence of trust.


Trust is the unwavering belief in someone's devotion and love for you. When you trust someone, you can count on them. Without trust, the very foundation of any relationship remains fragile, making it an indispensable component of every meaningful connection.



10 trust-building exercises for couples


Here are 10 trust-building activities you can perform as a couple if you lost trust due to something or looking to build on the trust in the relationship.


1. Whenever you wrong your partner say sorry

Trust building exercise: Learn to say sorry

If you have damaged trust in your relationship as a result of anything you did, the first thing you should do is apologize. Apologizing is a strong relationship-building exercise because it indicates accountability and a real intention to make amends for one's mistakes.


For example, you can say something like, "I can imagine how my actions harmed you, and I understand why you're upset. I sincerely apologize for causing you distress." Something that demonstrates your real regret causes your partner to learn to trust in the long run because it shows that you genuinely understand and acknowledge the impact of your actions, are committed to making amends, and are actively working to change your behaviour.


2. Practice giving your partner some space and privacy

A picture of someone giving their partner privacy

Encourage one another to pursue individual hobbies or interests. For example, if one spouse likes hiking and the other prefers painting, they can spend time doing it separately. Trust develops as one partner recognizes that the other cherishes their unique interests.


Occasionally, take separate trips or vacations with friends or family, and respect each other's privacy, whether it's regarding personal devices, journals, or private conversations with friends. Trust grows when you demonstrate that you trust your partner's judgment and boundaries.


Dedicate specific blocks of time for each partner to have alone time. Having this personal space, whether for an hour, an evening, or even a weekend, will strengthen trust and lessen feelings of suffocation in the partnership.


3. Learn to Communicate with each other even when you are busy

Trust building exercise: communication

We've all heard that efficient communication is essential in every relationship. It is critical in establishing or reestablishing trust, as well as preserving trust. If trust was destroyed for various reasons, expressing how you feel, how you felt before and after trust was lost, why you believe it happened, and so on is very important.


Instead of suppressing your emotions, express them calmly and honestly. If you realize you were at fault, accept it and truly apologize. Remind your partner of your affection and dedication even when you are busy.


4. Listen and do

A picture of a couple practicing active listening and action

According to Dr Emily Richards, a renowned relationship expert, Listening and doing is a fantastic way of trust-building in any relationship. It's not enough to hear your partner; you must actively listen and respond with meaningful actions.


When your partner is sharing their thoughts or feelings, give them your full attention. Put away distractions and make eye contact. It's not only about hearing, it's also about committing to adjust your behaviour in the future to avoid a repeat of the problem.


5. Plan regular quality time together

Trust building exercise: Spend quality time together

Quality time provides an opportunity for meaningful conversations. Making time for each other on a regular basis conveys a strong sense of dependability and commitment. When partners can count on spending quality time together, trust is developed.


6. Practice being empathetic with each other

Partners are more inclined to trust each other when they feel listened to, supported, and understood. Empathy involves trying to see things from your partner's perspective. This allows you to better understand their emotions and experiences. According to experts from Verywellmind empathy is a necessary precursor to intimacy, trust, and belonging.


For example, if your partner tells you, "I'm upset because you cancelled our plans."

You respond with; "I can imagine how that would be disappointing. I had to cancel due to an unforeseen job engagement, and I apologize for the inconvenience."


By doing this you put yourself in their shoes, you understand them by viewing from their perspective and not just yours. Your partner feels heard, supported, and understood, and they are more likely to trust you. This is a powerful trust-building exercise and if you have not been demonstrating empathy in your relationship you should.


7. Be vulnerable

A picture of couple being vulnerable

By being vulnerable, you are willing to open yourself to your partner and expose your true self, including your emotions, thoughts, worries, insecurities, and wants. You become honest, truthful, and authentic in your interactions, even when it is uncomfortable or risky.


Sharing personal stories from your past, especially ones that have shaped your beliefs and values, can help your partner understand you on a deeper level. This level of transparency is very important in building trust.


8. Share secrets or share gossip

Trust building exercise: Share secrets

For example, when something noteworthy happens at work, take the time to share the gossip with each other when you both get home. This not only helps you stay connected to each other's daily lives but also fosters open communication and a sense of shared experiences, all of which are essential for building and maintaining trust in your relationship.


When one partner confides in the other, it demonstrates a desire to be vulnerable. As previously stated, vulnerability may encourage your partner to reciprocate with boundless trust.


9. Create something together

Trust building exercise: Creating something together

Collaboration and teamwork are required while creating something together. The contribution of both partners' abilities, ideas, and efforts toward a single objective. This teamwork can help to foster the notion that you can rely on each other in all facets of your life.


For instance, building a piece of furniture, putting together a DIY home improvement project, and working on a scrapbook or photo album of your travels or special moments together. Each partner can bring their own set of skills to the assignment, whether it's reading directions, utilizing tools, or contributing creative ideas.


You will experience problems along the path, and as you work through them together, you will learn to trust each other's problem-solving abilities and resilience as well.

For more ideas on what you can do together click here.


10. Show gratitude and appreciation

A partner showing gratitude

Gratitude acts as emotional glue in a relationship. When you genuinely appreciate your partner's efforts, it fosters an emotional bond built on trust. It's like depositing trust coins into your emotional bank account, Dr Jane a Couples Therapist stated.


Couples establish a positive feedback loop by expressing thanks and praise. When one partner feels valued and respected, they are more willing to reciprocate, resulting in a never-ending cycle of trust and affirmation.


A foundation of thankfulness and appreciation can provide a shield against relationship deterioration in times of adversity or when trust has been strained. Partners who have consistently received positive reinforcement are more likely to weather challenging events together and emerge with their trust intact.


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